Mulla Nasruddin was in love with the daughter of a multi-millionaire. He used to tell her, "I may live or die, but I cannot leave you. If ever there is a need, I will die for you."
One day the girl was very sad. She told Nasruddin, "Listen, my father has become bankrupt."
Nasruddin said, "I knew that your father will create some trouble to stop our marriage."
[Osho]
Mulla Nasruddin had become ninety-nine years old, and a reporter from a local newspaper came to interview him because he was the oldest man in the valley.
After the interview the reporter said, "I hope that I will be able to come next year also when you have attained the hundred, when you have completed your hundred years. I hope I will be able to come." Mulla Nasruddin looked at the man wide-eyed and said, "Why not, young fellow? You look healthy enough to me!"
[Osho]
Mulla Nasruddin killed his wife and then there was a case in the court. The judge said to Nasruddin, 'Nasruddin, you go on insisting again and again that you are a peaceloving man. What type of peaceloving man are you? You killed your wife!'
Nasruddin said, 'Yes, I repeat again that I am a peaceloving man. You don't know: when I killed my wife such peace descended on her face, and for the first time in my house there was peace all over. And I still insist that I am a peaceloving man.'
[Osho]
Once, Mulla Nasruddin was caught in a legal case. He looked in the court: twelve woman jurists. And he said to the judge, "I confess! ... Because I cannot deceive one woman at home, so twelve in the jury -- impossible! I have committed this sin, simply give me the punishment."
Mulla Nasruddin was saying to one of his friends early in the morning, walking on the lawn, "My wife is almost like a mousetrap." And women are so attuned, their antenna is always up in the air; if you speak loudly they may not listen, but if you whisper they will listen to every word.
The wife came out and she said, "What are you telling him? Yes, I am a mousetrap -- and who are you? You are a mouse. And remember, the trap was not running after the mouse, it was the mouse himself who entered the trap. So what are you telling your friend?"
Mulla Nasruddin died and went immediately, or was sent immediately, to hell. There he reached Satan who had been waiting for him for a long time -- he was a man long awaited there. Satan received him, welcomed him, and Mulla Nasruddin said to the devil, "Boy, am I happy being here in heaven."
The devil said, "Nasruddin, you are mistaken. This is no heaven."
Nasruddin said, "That may be your attitude. I am coming from India -- to me this looks like heaven."
once Mulla Nasruddin was working as a doorkeeper in a museum. The first day he was appointed, he asked for the rules: ”What rules have to be followed?” So he was given the book of the rules that were to be followed by the doorkeeper. He memorized them; he took every care not
to forget a single detail.
And the first day when he was on duty, the first visitor came. He told the visitor to leave his umbrella there outside with him at the door. The visitor was amazed. He said, ”But I don’t have any umbrella."
So Nasruddin said, "In that case, you will have to go back. Bring an umbrella because this is the rule. Unless a visitor leaves his umbrella here outside, he cannot be allowed in.”
Just the other day it happened: Mulla Nasruddin's wife went to see Sona -- you know Sona, the tarot card reader? -- and she came back very much disturbed.
The future disturbs. Anything about the future disturbs. It is good not to know about the future because once you know anything about the future it starts changing your present, and disturbance arises.
She was very worried. Mulla Nasruddin asked her, "What is the matter?"
She said, "I have been to a tarot card reader, a very good woman, and she has said a few things and I am very worried."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "Don't be worried. Nothing is certain in life so no prediction can be made. I tell you that only fools are certain."
The wife said, "Are you really certain about that?"
Somebody was asking Mulla Nasruddin, "Why, Nasruddin, are you leaving so early today?" -- he was leaving the tavern.
He said, "Every day it is a problem. The wife!"
So the man said, "Are you afraid of your wife? Are you a man or a mouse?"
Nasruddin said, "I am a man."
And the man said, "Then why you are going so early if you are a man? And what certainty have you got that you are a man?"
Said Nasruddin, "I am certain, absolutely certain, because my wife is afraid of mice. I am certainly a man. I am afraid of her and she is afraid of mice. Had I been a mouse...!"
Mulla Nasruddin was talking to his doctor. The doctor said, "Nasruddin, you confess that you are bad-tempered. I suppose I need not tell you that science has discovered that your bad temper is caused by an ugly little microbe."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "For heaven's sake, speak quietly. She's sitting in the next room."
Mulla Nasruddin was in love with the daughter of a multi-millionaire. He used to tell her, "I may live or die, but I cannot leave you. If ever there is a need, I will die for you."
One day the girl was very sad. She told Nasruddin, "Listen, my father has become bankrupt."
Nasruddin said, "I knew that your father will create some trouble to stop our marriage."
[Osho]
^ Top
Mulla Nasruddin had become ninety-nine years old, and a reporter from a local newspaper came to interview him because he was the oldest man in the valley.
After the interview the reporter said, "I hope that I will be able to come next year also when you have attained the hundred, when you have completed your hundred years. I hope I will be able to come." Mulla Nasruddin looked at the man wide-eyed and said, "Why not, young fellow? You look healthy enough to me!"
[Osho]
^ Top
Mulla Nasruddin killed his wife and then there was a case in the court. The judge said to Nasruddin, 'Nasruddin, you go on insisting again and again that you are a peaceloving man. What type of peaceloving man are you? You killed your wife!'
Nasruddin said, 'Yes, I repeat again that I am a peaceloving man. You don't know: when I killed my wife such peace descended on her face, and for the first time in my house there was peace all over. And I still insist that I am a peaceloving man.'
[Osho]
^ Top
Once, Mulla Nasruddin was caught in a legal case. He looked in the court: twelve woman jurists. And he said to the judge, "I confess! ... Because I cannot deceive one woman at home, so twelve in the jury -- impossible! I have committed this sin, simply give me the punishment."
^ Top
Mulla Nasruddin was saying to one of his friends early in the morning, walking on the lawn, "My wife is almost like a mousetrap." And women are so attuned, their antenna is always up in the air; if you speak loudly they may not listen, but if you whisper they will listen to every word.
The wife came out and she said, "What are you telling him? Yes, I am a mousetrap -- and who are you? You are a mouse. And remember, the trap was not running after the mouse, it was the mouse himself who entered the trap. So what are you telling your friend?"
^ Top
Mulla Nasruddin died and went immediately, or was sent immediately, to hell. There he reached Satan who had been waiting for him for a long time -- he was a man long awaited there. Satan received him, welcomed him, and Mulla Nasruddin said to the devil, "Boy, am I happy being here in heaven."
The devil said, "Nasruddin, you are mistaken. This is no heaven."
Nasruddin said, "That may be your attitude. I am coming from India -- to me this looks like heaven."
^ Top
once Mulla Nasruddin was working as a doorkeeper in a museum. The first day he was appointed, he asked for the rules: ”What rules have to be followed?” So he was given the book of the rules that were to be followed by the doorkeeper. He memorized them; he took every care not to forget a single detail.
And the first day when he was on duty, the first visitor came. He told the visitor to leave his umbrella there outside with him at the door. The visitor was amazed. He said, ”But I don’t have any umbrella."
So Nasruddin said, "In that case, you will have to go back. Bring an umbrella because this is the rule. Unless a visitor leaves his umbrella here outside, he cannot be allowed in.”
^ Top
Just the other day it happened: Mulla Nasruddin's wife went to see Sona -- you know Sona, the tarot card reader? -- and she came back very much disturbed. The future disturbs. Anything about the future disturbs. It is good not to know about the future because once you know anything about the future it starts changing your present, and disturbance arises.
She was very worried. Mulla Nasruddin asked her, "What is the matter?"
She said, "I have been to a tarot card reader, a very good woman, and she has said a few things and I am very worried."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "Don't be worried. Nothing is certain in life so no prediction can be made. I tell you that only fools are certain."
The wife said, "Are you really certain about that?"
He said, "Absolutely certain!"
[Osho]
^ Top
Somebody was asking Mulla Nasruddin, "Why, Nasruddin, are you leaving so early today?" -- he was leaving the tavern.
He said, "Every day it is a problem. The wife!"
So the man said, "Are you afraid of your wife? Are you a man or a mouse?"
Nasruddin said, "I am a man."
And the man said, "Then why you are going so early if you are a man? And what certainty have you got that you are a man?"
Said Nasruddin, "I am certain, absolutely certain, because my wife is afraid of mice. I am certainly a man. I am afraid of her and she is afraid of mice. Had I been a mouse...!"
^ Top
Cause for bad temper.
Mulla Nasruddin was talking to his doctor. The doctor said, "Nasruddin, you confess that you are bad-tempered. I suppose I need not tell you that science has discovered that your bad temper is caused by an ugly little microbe."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "For heaven's sake, speak quietly. She's sitting in the next room."
^ Top