What you think and feel has nothing to do with the reality of life.
What somebody thinks of you has no existential relevance. It has some social relevance, but existentially, what the world thinks about you or above all, what you think about yourself, has no relevance at all. I should tell you a joke.
One day the Pope died. Naturally, being the Pope, he progressed towards heaven. At the gates of heaven, Saint Peter was sitting on a tall security stool smoking a Cuban cigar. Pope went and looked at this ghastly scene of Saint Peter, that too smoking a Cuban cigar – a banned one.;-). So, Peter blew the smoke in his face and asked, “Okay man, who are you?” Pope was totally taken aback, “What is this!” Anyway, he held back and said, “I am the Pope.” “What about it, Popie? Move on.” He said, “How dare you! I am God’s representative on the planet. My name is Pope.” Peter took another deep lungful of smoke, blew it at his face and said, “Aey Popie, move on. Every day, all kinds of guys come here and want to go in. Move on.”
The Pope said, “How dare you say such things to me! If you want, you ask God! I am his representative on the planet.” “Is that so? Let me see.” So Peter raised his voice and said, “Hey Boss, there is somebody out here who claims to be your representative on the planet. His name is Pope. Do you know him?” A grave voice from inside the gate said, “I do not know anybody like that.” “The Boss doesn’t know you. Move on, man, enough!”
Pope was distraught. “What is this! How can the old man say he doesn’t know me! Must be Alzheimer’s.” ;-). “You ask Jesus. He knows. He knows me. I am his representative on the planet.” So Peter once again raised his voice and said, "Hey Sonny, there is somebody out here who claims to be your representative on the planet. His name is Pope. Do you know him?" A gentle voice from inside said, "I do not know anybody like that." "Enough man, Sonny doesn’t know you. Move on."
By now, Pope was really breaking up and said, “How can this be?! How can they let me down like this? No, you ask the Holy Ghost, he knows me. I am his representative on the planet." Saint Peter once again raised his voice and said, "Hey Spooky, there is somebody out here who claims to be your representative on the planet. His name is Pope. Do you know him?" A very mischievous voice from inside said, “Ah, Pope! Is he here? He is the one who spread all those malicious stories about me and Mary. Don’t you let him in."
So whatever you think about yourself, whatever the world thinks about you right now does not mean a damn thing existentially. When you say spirituality, you are seeing how to progress existentially - not socially, not psychologically, not emotionally.
You want to progress on the existential level. You want to go somewhere on that level, because your emotion, your society, your psychology is all just pure imagination.
Maybe sometimes pleasant imagination, but still imagination, isn’t it? So, the progression of a being beyond his body is not dependent upon who he was in the world, what he thought of himself, what everybody thought of him. It simply depends on how conscious he is, what he has generated beyond the physical within himself.
[Jaggi]